I start putting my groceries on the belt at the commisary and the cashier says "How much longer do you have now?" Keep in mind, I see her every week multiple times. And she asks me every time she sees me. Also she just graduated high school last year PREGNANT!! So back to the conversation.. I tell her I have 8 weeks left. Her reply "WoW!! That much longer?? You're huge! Are you sure there's not 2 in there?" My reply "YEP, I am sure there is only one." Then I got the eyebrow raise. I just stayed quiet the rest of the time and refused to look at her.
I wonder why I can't be mean. Why can't I just say something hurtful back? Or at least tell them that it's not nice to say things like that to pregnant women. Is it because I think I can kill them with kindness? I know I am not scared to say something. Maybe it's because it always catches me off guard and I am dumbfounded. I can't believe what comes out of people's mouths!! UUUGGGHHH, it's just so frustrating!!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Pregnancy 39 years ago...
I was talking to my momma the other night about this blog. She said she was trying to think about all her pregnancies to see if she ever dealt with anything negative. She said that when she started having babies, it was WAY different than it is now. She had her first when she was at the tender age of 17. She was still in high school and teenage pregnancy wasn't accepted like it now. She said that some girls would disappear for 8-9 months and then come back like nothing was new. They didn't carry a baby around, they didn't rush home after school AND they didn't talk about it. Well, my mom was a rare one, she kept her baby. She said there were only 2 girls brave enough to do so. Her and one of her friends. She had NEVER regretted her decision. And I am glad she did what she did. I couldn't imagine life with out my oldest brother.
I have thought about how much society has changed in the past 40 years. The difference now is so drastic, I think anyone from that time is flabbergasted by how accepted it is now. Now we have MTV shows about teenage pregnancies. We have shows like Life as an American Teenager where sex is in every episode. (this is the stuff teens watch now!!) We have schools that teach mostly about safe sex and NOT abstinence. I think that should be the number one lesson! Now don't get me wrong, I made mistakes as a teenager and I was a lucky one. I wasn't blessed with a baby until I was married. But I was def. influenced by teachings other than my mom and dad's. I just hope and pray I can teach my children how important it is to wait. That's all I can do!!
I have thought about how much society has changed in the past 40 years. The difference now is so drastic, I think anyone from that time is flabbergasted by how accepted it is now. Now we have MTV shows about teenage pregnancies. We have shows like Life as an American Teenager where sex is in every episode. (this is the stuff teens watch now!!) We have schools that teach mostly about safe sex and NOT abstinence. I think that should be the number one lesson! Now don't get me wrong, I made mistakes as a teenager and I was a lucky one. I wasn't blessed with a baby until I was married. But I was def. influenced by teachings other than my mom and dad's. I just hope and pray I can teach my children how important it is to wait. That's all I can do!!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Beautiful Belly
I walked into the gas station the other day and my favorite girl was working. The first thing she said to me was "Ooooohhh, Look at your beautiful belly!!!" It brought a big smile to my face. Everyone should hear this everywhere they go!! It made my day!!
Clever Comebacks
Well,, I am also expecting, baby #5 this time. I am due early April. While this baby was not planned, he/she was not prevented either, so we're not really in shock. We've been reluctant to tell anyone, because we know what kind of comments we would get from having #5. To our amazement, most people have been encouraging. However, we have had our share of tactless comments. One was from my own brother...he said "Five f------- kids, Heather?" Another was from another mother of 4, who just looked at me, and said very pointedly that I was crazy! So, here is a list of answers to possible questions I put out to everyone:
1. NO, WE ARE NOT CRAZY!
2. We were not trying,, but not preventing. We gave this part of our lives to God, and He provided for us now.
3. Yes, we are still going to homeschool.
4. No, we are not upgrading anything...car, house, etc.
5. Yes, I am very very sick.
6. We are not sports fans, so we are not trying to start our own baseball/basketball' whatever sports team
7. Yes, we hope it's a girl, but will be as thrilled with a boy!
8. No, you may not touch my belly. You want to touch a belly, see Brian.
9. I don't know if this will be our last baby. God has different plans than we do.
10. The only thing we ask from everybody else is to pray for a happy.healthy, pregnancy and baby!
That pretty much quieted everyone before the rude comments started flowing in.
H.H.
1. NO, WE ARE NOT CRAZY!
2. We were not trying,, but not preventing. We gave this part of our lives to God, and He provided for us now.
3. Yes, we are still going to homeschool.
4. No, we are not upgrading anything...car, house, etc.
5. Yes, I am very very sick.
6. We are not sports fans, so we are not trying to start our own baseball/basketball' whatever sports team
7. Yes, we hope it's a girl, but will be as thrilled with a boy!
8. No, you may not touch my belly. You want to touch a belly, see Brian.
9. I don't know if this will be our last baby. God has different plans than we do.
10. The only thing we ask from everybody else is to pray for a happy.healthy, pregnancy and baby!
That pretty much quieted everyone before the rude comments started flowing in.
H.H.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Mediterranean Mayheim!!
Even when we try to ignore it, some people can't keep their mouth shut!
I was 6 months pregnant with my second baby when we went on a Mediterranean cruise last year. I had put on a healthy amount of weight and wasn't feeling too fat yet. That is, until I had an encounter with a petite little Asian chick. She was serving food at one of the poolside buffets on the ship and I was in line in my bathing suit. She spotted me and said, "Oh, how far along are you? It looks like any day now!" I replied, "Actually I'm only 6 months." and tried to end the conversation there. But she continued and said, "6? Thats it?!!! It must be twins then! Your belly is so big, there is definately more than one in there!" I decided not to even acknowledge that with a response and just ignored her. She looked at me like I was the rude one. S.L.
Just for the record. I think you look fabulous in this picture. 6months was my favorite time!!
I was 6 months pregnant with my second baby when we went on a Mediterranean cruise last year. I had put on a healthy amount of weight and wasn't feeling too fat yet. That is, until I had an encounter with a petite little Asian chick. She was serving food at one of the poolside buffets on the ship and I was in line in my bathing suit. She spotted me and said, "Oh, how far along are you? It looks like any day now!" I replied, "Actually I'm only 6 months." and tried to end the conversation there. But she continued and said, "6? Thats it?!!! It must be twins then! Your belly is so big, there is definately more than one in there!" I decided not to even acknowledge that with a response and just ignored her. She looked at me like I was the rude one. S.L.
Just for the record. I think you look fabulous in this picture. 6months was my favorite time!!Sunday, October 4, 2009
Pitiful Pool Party Pooper
I am right there with you A.B. My butt gets big too! It just means your hips spread and you have a very easy delivery.
Last summer I was pregnant with my 4th baby. We decided to take the kids to the base pool. I had a nice suit on, a maternity one. As I was walking to the pool with my then 21 month old daughter, two ladies were walking behind me. Tom was walking behind them and heard this conversation.
Younger gal: When I am pregnant, I won't let my butt look like that.
Other Gal: When you are pregnant, you have no choice over what your butt is going to look like.
The first lady was lucky that her friend piped in, My husband was so mad. He told me what was said and I just started bawling and did not go to the pool again that summer. It really hurt my feelings. Like I can help that when I have girls I carry low and my butt gets bigger.
People can be so very rude when they see someone who is pregnant. They should instead look at it as someone who is bringing a new person into the world, not everyone is able to do this. And they should go by what Thumper's mom on Bambi says: If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all.
A.B.
Last summer I was pregnant with my 4th baby. We decided to take the kids to the base pool. I had a nice suit on, a maternity one. As I was walking to the pool with my then 21 month old daughter, two ladies were walking behind me. Tom was walking behind them and heard this conversation.
Younger gal: When I am pregnant, I won't let my butt look like that.
Other Gal: When you are pregnant, you have no choice over what your butt is going to look like.
The first lady was lucky that her friend piped in, My husband was so mad. He told me what was said and I just started bawling and did not go to the pool again that summer. It really hurt my feelings. Like I can help that when I have girls I carry low and my butt gets bigger.
People can be so very rude when they see someone who is pregnant. They should instead look at it as someone who is bringing a new person into the world, not everyone is able to do this. And they should go by what Thumper's mom on Bambi says: If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all.
A.B.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
On a positive note:
I have felt a small connection with Heidi Klum for a few reasons. First she is married to a black man..like me and second she is obviously pregnant with her fourth child. I also think we carry the same way. Just out there!! I liked this interview with her as she feels the same way I do. I love her last quote. It really is a miracle you can grow another human being in your belly and your body can go back to normal afterwards.
Supermodel Heidi Klum, who is expecting her fourth child feels her legs and butt will ''explode'' in her final month of pregnancy, but remains confident of getting back in shape.
The pregnant 'Victoria's Secret' model, who raises three children with husband, singer Seal, always piles on the pounds in the last month of the pregnancy, but is not worried about shifting her baby weight, New York Post reported.
"The last month is unbelievable, how rapidly your stomach goes. It's huge! The thighs, the butt - everything explodes in the end. It's bizarre. Just as it's a miracle that you can grow a human being in your belly, it's a miracle that your body goes back to normal again," said the German beauty who is expecting a daughter in October.
The pregnant 'Victoria's Secret' model, who raises three children with husband, singer Seal, always piles on the pounds in the last month of the pregnancy, but is not worried about shifting her baby weight, New York Post reported.
"The last month is unbelievable, how rapidly your stomach goes. It's huge! The thighs, the butt - everything explodes in the end. It's bizarre. Just as it's a miracle that you can grow a human being in your belly, it's a miracle that your body goes back to normal again," said the German beauty who is expecting a daughter in October.
Ignorant Mothers
Here is a story submitted to me. Yay my first one!! Keep them coming girls!!
i have always looked a little big younger than i am, i think it's because i am short and still shop in the jrs section. in fact i have aged more since having my daughter than ever.so i was pregnant when i was 24, had gwen at 25. my mom and i were shopping at a department store. i was waiting at the entrance to the dressing rooms, while she tried on some clothes, i think i was about 6-7 months pregnant. these 2 ladies were standing there, while whispering, staring at me as they waiting for the teenage daughters to try on prom dresses. i ignored them, until they said, loud enough for me to hear....looking right at me, "this teenage pregnancy epidemic is really out of hand." my mouth just dropped and i was completely speechless, for the first time ever. my mom rejoined me and one of the women had the nerve to ask my mom why she was parading around her pregnant teen daughter in the mall. mom was shockingly said." excuse me.... she is 25 and a married college graduate, mind your own F*cking business."it was awesome, but still some people just have an issue with thinking before speaking.
G.S.
i have always looked a little big younger than i am, i think it's because i am short and still shop in the jrs section. in fact i have aged more since having my daughter than ever.so i was pregnant when i was 24, had gwen at 25. my mom and i were shopping at a department store. i was waiting at the entrance to the dressing rooms, while she tried on some clothes, i think i was about 6-7 months pregnant. these 2 ladies were standing there, while whispering, staring at me as they waiting for the teenage daughters to try on prom dresses. i ignored them, until they said, loud enough for me to hear....looking right at me, "this teenage pregnancy epidemic is really out of hand." my mouth just dropped and i was completely speechless, for the first time ever. my mom rejoined me and one of the women had the nerve to ask my mom why she was parading around her pregnant teen daughter in the mall. mom was shockingly said." excuse me.... she is 25 and a married college graduate, mind your own F*cking business."it was awesome, but still some people just have an issue with thinking before speaking.
G.S.
Insulted at 30 weeks
So today I was going through the gate of the base and was pulled over to have my car inspected. (its a security thing). I got out and opened my trunk and hood. As I stood there waiting to be done, a very large security police woman asked me how much longer I had. I told her 2 months. She said "Oh it must be a big baby!" I slammed my hood down and said "I am usually a size 2 and don't think I am that big." There was another male gate guard standing there and said " I don't think you are big at all." And then he told me his wife was pregnant and due on the 25th. I congratulated him and said thank you. Look at fatty, took my things and got in the car. And of course, I can think of a million things to say back to her now but in the moment, I am so flabbergasted I can't think straight. I just want to get away from people like her.
Charley's sub Mananger
I had just ordered my regular size sub sandwich at Charley's and was waiting for it to be cooked. The manager who was cooking that day, asked how far along I was. I told him 7 months. He said "Oh my wife's friend is due in Decemeber and has gotten really big too!" What do you say to that? "Uuummm, thanks now give me my food so I can scarf down my sorrows?"
Seriously, it never ends with me!
Seriously, it never ends with me!
Clueless Cashier
I was at the BX with my 2 boys and one of Nolan's friends paying for my things. The cashier asked me if they were all mine. I told only two were but I was actually pregnant with my fourth. Here is the rest of the conversation. Her: "What are you having?" Me: "A girl." Her: " You finally get your girl! That's exciting!" Me: "I already have a girl. I have 2 boys and a girl already." Her: "Oh, well, I was trying to find something positive about having another baby." Me: "This one was well planned and very much wanted."
I just took my bags and left. I think it's sad she probably won't ever feel the love of 4 children. I wouldn't trade it for the world!
I just took my bags and left. I think it's sad she probably won't ever feel the love of 4 children. I wouldn't trade it for the world!
McDonalds
So it seems to have all started at McDonalds when I was 27 weeks along. I live in Germany right now by the way and I have learned that some Germans don't have tact. Well, a lot of them don't but neither do a lot of Americans.
So I was already stressed out a bit, it was 730pm, the kids, my husband and I were starving and just wanted to eat and get home. So after ordering our food we are standing there waiting for it, the cashier asked "When are you due?" I said "Early December." She looked at me as her eyes got wider and said "You are very big" I then said " I don't think I am that big" Well she must have felt like she needed to correct my thinking so she said "Well my daughter is due next week and you are much fatter than she is." I just looked at her with a very confused look and walked away. I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD!!! It bothered me all night! I couldn't get over it. uuuuggghh, I can't believe how ignorant people are.
So I was already stressed out a bit, it was 730pm, the kids, my husband and I were starving and just wanted to eat and get home. So after ordering our food we are standing there waiting for it, the cashier asked "When are you due?" I said "Early December." She looked at me as her eyes got wider and said "You are very big" I then said " I don't think I am that big" Well she must have felt like she needed to correct my thinking so she said "Well my daughter is due next week and you are much fatter than she is." I just looked at her with a very confused look and walked away. I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD!!! It bothered me all night! I couldn't get over it. uuuuggghh, I can't believe how ignorant people are.
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